Love or Lust?

pic credit : tumpanglalu

everybody will have encounter of this relationship problem at least once in their lifetime... we will have a dirty little secret like what All American Rejects said..."let me know that I’ve done wrong, When I've known this all along. I go around a time or two, Just to waste my time with you"... heh... It is just a song really...but people say the song that we love n enjoy to listen reflects what we do in our daily lives...am I not rite? Why am I writing this? cuz I remember what my boyfriend has said to me...what you don’t know, wont hurt u…that is so true baby... what did I reply? I said... it will hurt them more when they found out the truth... so? ape nak buat? simpan salah...tak simpan pon salah kann? and when it happens... we'll say SHIT HAPPENS!!

Lately...I have been thinking...what have i done wrong in my life? I guess. I have too many answers that I certainly cannot put them into words... there's a super massive black hole there and I have stuffed it with many wrongdoings...and I regret for that. I let them occupy my life...I let them nest in my mind... Those thoughts I cannot deny. These sleeping dogs won't lie...And all I've tried to hide. It’s eating me apart...Trace this life out.. and god-knows-when am going to stop doing that...

there are things that we regret when we've done it...there are things that we enjoy eventhough we know its wrong...lain padang lain belalang...kan? one of my friend realize that she has done something that is unpleasant in her relationship...but she kinda enjoy it...and she told me.. "why this things happen now? why not 2-3 years ago? why didnt it happened when she first met her boyfriend?"...me myself couldnt answer her question at that particular time...but now...here's my answer..."maybe those things are dugaan that appear in our relationship...to prove whether or not we still love our spouse...we still have a long journey to go thru...many things to think...what had happened are maybe some kind LUST, ANGST, LOVE, etc etc"... ntah...i guess i have no exact answer for that...sorry pal...mcm paris ckp.."do u know..what its like...when its wrong...but it feels allrite.."

at the moment of writing… my mind came across with Paris’ song "nothing in this world"...call me stupid or eeuuwww or what so ever...but I really like this song... it's kinda cheap kan? but who cares? we know that he likes to tease guys here and there...haha.. So I was thinking to myself when you passed me by..“Here’s what I like”...And you were with somebody else but you can’t deny...That’s me in your eye"...hmm...she is such a teaser kan? huhu...sometimes kan..i think that mmg perempuan mcm tuh...not all laa...but some.. haa...that is all lead to dirty little secret gak at last kann? mule2 kawan...pastu rapat2...pastu dah start kua...pastu.. Hmm... Nature will do at its best la...pastu...dirty little secret...huhuh...bagus btol paris nih...no wonder she has no bf until now...cuz she is kinda enjoying what she is doing rite now... Flirting here and there...i wonder how it feels when we can flirt here and there like her...with no attachments… but she looks cheap laa kann? owhh...that is so unfair to address a lady "cheap" when the guy pon melayan gakk..tapi pempuan laa yg slalu dpt gelaran tuh kann? i don’t know...you asked yourself...